So I did something interesting the other day. I guess you'd call it interesting. It's weird, but it's interesting.


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Calling a Cat with an Intercom
So I did something interesting the other day. I guess you'd call it interesting. It's weird, but it's interesting.
I hope it's interesting, because I'm about to share it with you and, and America, and many parts of the world. Hello parts of the world.
Here's what happened. So, a few days... by the way, I didn't think it was weird, I 'm just sharing cause someone else did.
A few days ago I got home from work from a long, long day of entertaining America, and many parts of the world. Hello.
And, so I sit down on the sofa. It's my ritual, I come home, I sit on the sofa and I 'm going to watch TV and I realize my cat Charlie,
my favorite cat Charlie, we have three and... but my favorite cat is Charlie and the other two know it, and Charlie wasn't with me.
Usually when I get home, Charlie knows I'm home and the other two cats really don't care. They're very independent.
One spent the summer backpacking through Europe.
How brave of a cat. So, anyway, Charlie, who loves me as much as I love her, didn't realize I was home,
and I knew that she'd be upset or else... you know, cause, you know, she's not, likes to know when I'm home,
so I assume she was in our master bathroom because that's where they hang out. They're in love with the loofa.
They just play with the loofa all the time. So I wanted Charlie to know that I was home and, uh, I'm not one of those crazy cat ladies.
I just like to know that, you know, she wants to be with me and we can have dinner together and watch Hoarders.
So, I could 've walked back to the bathroom and I could 've just yelled out for her, but we have an intercom,
where I can just push a button and talk to someone from another room, so I thought, " Wow, I 've never done this before, but why not?"
So... cause with the inter... we're like the Jetsons, we are. We don't have a robot maid or anything. Yet.
But... so anyway, I hit the intercom button and I went, " Charlie! Charlie, I'm home! Charlie."
because I do that, and then I hung up and I didn't think anything of it, and I looked over and Portia was just staring at me
and she said, " Did you just intercom the cat?" And... I was like, " Well, yeah. I mean, it's the same thing as calling out, it was an intercom.
I'm tired and I don't feel like walking back there, cause... or I could have gotten up, I could have walked out, you know,
and just gotten on the Segway and taken that to the escalator and then passed the champagne fountain and gotten my retina scanned and gone back."
But... but anyway. I could have walked down there but I didn't want to and I thought, " Well, I'm lazy, that's crazy how lazy I am."
Usually I'm not that lazy. I mean, sometimes I 'll try to take my pants off without taking my shoes off first, but, who doesn't do that?
Anyway, I realized that technology is making us lazy, you know, because there are cars that park themselves and now
I don't even need to squeeze my lime into my beer because the geniuses at Bud Light have done that for me,
and I guess if I really, really wanted to I could find a machine to dance for me, but that wouldn't be fun at all. Let's dance.
So I did something interesting the other day. I guess you'd call it interesting. It's weird, but it's interesting.
I
It's
the
it's
it
did
day
but
something
So
other
you'd
call
interesting
guess
weird
I hope it's interesting, because I'm about to share it with you and, and America, and many parts of the world. Hello parts of the world.
and
with
I
you
I'm
Hello
many
the
to
it's
of
about
it
America
because
world
hope
interesting
parts
share
Here's what happened. So, a few days... by the way, I didn't think it was weird, I 'm just sharing cause someone else did.
I
a
the
'm
it
Here's
did
was
what
happened
way
think
else
just
So
by
few
days
didn't
someone
cause
weird
sharing
A few days ago I got home from work from a long, long day of entertaining America, and many parts of the world. Hello.
A
and
I
Hello
a
many
the
of
day
home
got
work
from
America
long
few
days
world
ago
parts
entertaining
And, so I sit down on the sofa. It's my ritual, I come home, I sit on the sofa and I 'm going to watch TV and I realize my cat Charlie,
and
my
I
It's
the
on
'm
going to
And
down
home
so
sit
come
sofa
cat
TV
watch
Charlie
realize
ritual
my favorite cat Charlie, we have three and... but my favorite cat is Charlie and the other two know it, and Charlie wasn't with me.
is
two
three
and
my
with
the
we
know
have
it
me
but
cat
favorite
other
wasn't
Charlie
Usually when I get home, Charlie knows I'm home and the other two cats really don't care. They're very independent.
two
and
I
don't
I'm
the
get
They're
very
home
when
really
Usually
care
other
knows
cats
Charlie
independent
One spent the summer backpacking through Europe.
One
the
Europe
summer
through
spent
backpacking
How brave of a cat. So, anyway, Charlie, who loves me as much as I love her, didn't realize I was home,
I
a
of
How
much
was
me
home
love
loves
cat
who
brave
her
So
as
didn't
anyway
Charlie
realize
and I knew that she'd be upset or else... you know, cause, you know, she's not, likes to know when I'm home,
and
be
I
I'm
that
to
know
she's
or
not
home
when
else
likes
knew
upset
cause
you know
she'd
so I assume she was in our master bathroom because that's where they hang out. They're in love with the loofa.
with
I
in
the
They're
they
she
our
was
out
so
love
bathroom
that's
because
where
hang
master
assume
loofa
They just play with the loofa all the time. So I wanted Charlie to know that I was home and, uh, I'm not one of those crazy cat ladies.
and
with
I
play
I'm
the
that
to
all
know
They
of
was
not
home
time
one
cat
those
just
So
uh
wanted
crazy
Charlie
ladies
loofa
I just like to know that, you know, she wants to be with me and we can have dinner together and watch Hoarders.
and
be
with
I
like
that
to
can
we
together
she
know
have
me
dinner
just
watch
wants
you know
Hoarders
So, I could 've walked back to the bathroom and I could 've just yelled out for her, but we have an intercom,
and
I
for
the
to
we
have
out
've
walked
an
but
back
bathroom
just
her
So
could
yelled
intercom
where I can just push a button and talk to someone from another room, so I thought, " Wow, I 've never done this before, but why not?"
and
I
a
to
can
Wow
this
room
so
've
from
but
push
never
another
just
talk
thought
before
where
someone
done
button
why not
So... cause with the inter... we're like the Jetsons, we are. We don't have a robot maid or anything. Yet.
are
with
like
don't
a
the
we
have
or
We
robot
So
anything
we're
cause
maid
Yet
inter
Jetsons
But... so anyway, I hit the intercom button and I went, " Charlie! Charlie, I'm home! Charlie."
and
I
I'm
the
went
home
But
so
anyway
hit
Charlie
button
intercom
because I do that, and then I hung up and I didn't think anything of it, and I looked over and Portia was just staring at me
and
at
I
do
that
of
it
was
me
think
up
over
just
then
didn't
because
staring
hung
anything
looked
Portia
and she said, " Did you just intercom the cat?" And... I was like, " Well, yeah. I mean, it's the same thing as calling out, it was an intercom.
and
I
like
you
the
it's
she
And
it
was
out
Well
Did
an
cat
same
just
thing
as
yeah
said
mean
calling
intercom
I'm tired and I don't feel like walking back there, cause... or I could have gotten up, I could have walked out, you know,
and
I
like
don't
I'm
have
or
tired
out
walked
there
up
feel
back
gotten
could
walking
cause
you know
and just gotten on the Segway and taken that to the escalator and then passed the champagne fountain and gotten my retina scanned and gone back."
and
my
the
on
that
to
back
fountain
just
then
gotten
retina
gone
escalator
taken
passed
champagne
Segway
scanned
But... but anyway. I could have walked down there but I didn't want to and I thought, " Well, I'm lazy, that's crazy how lazy I am."
and
I
I'm
to
have
want
down
am
how
Well
But
walked
but
there
lazy
that's
thought
didn't
could
anyway
crazy
Usually I'm not that lazy. I mean, sometimes I 'll try to take my pants off without taking my shoes off first, but, who doesn't do that?
my
I
I'm
pants
shoes
do
that
to
'll
take
off
not
doesn't
but
lazy
who
try
first
taking
Usually
sometimes
mean
without
Anyway, I realized that technology is making us lazy, you know, because there are cars that park themselves and now
is
and
are
I
that
park
there
lazy
now
making
cars
because
us
you know
technology
Anyway
realized
themselves
I don't even need to squeeze my lime into my beer because the geniuses at Bud Light have done that for me,
my
at
I
don't
for
the
that
to
have
need
me
into
because
even
done
squeeze
beer
lime
geniuses
Bud Light
and I guess if I really, really wanted to I could find a machine to dance for me, but that wouldn't be fun at all. Let's dance.
and
be
I
Let's
for
a
that
to
dance
me
but
really
if
fun
find
could
wanted
machine
at all
wouldn't
guess
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